Is sex relationship duct tape?

So I just read this article a couple of days ago, "Sex can fix it!" In March's Redbook mag (I was going to link it, but it isn't up on their site yet..check later or go grab a copy.) The point was that sex can help fix a number of issues, from feeling fat to fighting. Now I am a firm believer in the importance of sex for the relationship and know that it makes me feel sexier, but it is hard sometimes to get out of you're funk to want to, well, you get it.

So hubby and I had definitely been in a funk for a few days, snapping at each other and giving the stink eye. I also was feeling pretty pissy about my exercise and dieting hard work not showing the results I had hoped for fast enough. But I read the article while taking a bath and trying to relax, so decided that despite not really feeling like making up yet, I would put the moves on hubby. (Don't ask what those moves are because they are very lame.)

Needless to say, he was surprised and pleased. And guess what, we were snuggly and laughing the next day! And to top it off, it did one of the other things the article mentioned...revived my sagging libido. And bonus...he bought me this exercise gadget I had been really wanting but couldn't bring myself to buy because it is a little pricey. Who knew?! That really works! 11 years of not using the power on him, wasted. Haha! Just kidding, he is a great guy who does nice things like that for me all the time, but that just confirms that he deserves getting it more. Chicken or the egg, right?

Just try it out sometime. Sex is the only thing you share with you're partner and no one else (well, usually I suppose, but that gets complicated.) It creates a bond that connects you and buffers the outside world, including the kids.

* Disclaimer: Maybe I should have said 'good sex' throughout this. If you're not having good sex, contact me so we can fix that!

New Pure Romance Products!

Check out all of the new products, just released! Some are limited time only, so get them while you can! Email or call me to order at pamloveland@pureromance.com or 919-949-5208.

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Always a Hot Topic at Pure Romance Parties - Libido

One of the most talked about topics at parties is loss of sexual desire, or libido. Changes in a person’s sex drive is common and natural. There are many things that influence our bodies and desires, so it’s not uncommon that sexual intimacy would rise and fall as those changes occur. It’s also a very personal subject because for some people and couples, a less frequent sex life works for them and they are comfortable with it. Issues may arise when there isn’t a match, or even a middle ground, between levels of desire between couples. That’s going to happen from time-to-time throughout a relationship, but if one person has an ongoing feeling of their need for that physical intimacy not being met, it can strain that relationship. And it’s not always the women who have a lower sex drive than the men. Men have a lot more expected of them these days than they did in the previous generation which can sometimes cause stress, exhaustion and a lessening of their libido as well.

• Approximately 33% of women between 18-59 years of age reported a loss of sexual desire for at least a few months over the last year. (JAMA, 1999)
• Approximately 20% of women reported a lack of vaginal lubrication during sexual stimulation. (JAMA, 1999)
• In a survey of 1,328 women ages 40 and older, 45% of women surveyed use intimcacy enhancing products for added stimulation. (Frankel, 2005)

Here is a link to moreinformation about the subject, things to do that could help and additional resources.

Pure Romance Health Education Newsletter Sept. 2008

Why I Love Pure Romance

I decided I wanted to be a Consultant for the same reason a lot of us do - I had been to a couple of parties, loved the products and when my sponsor talked about doing the parties whenever I had the time, it sounded like the perfect way to get a little wiggle room back into our budget. Now I’m definately not the type to stand in front of a group of people to do any sort of talk or presentation, and I had never ’sold’ anything before in my life. I’m the girl you see at a party clinging to her best friend or husband at a loss on how to start a conversation. I’m really not great with small talk. I am, though, the type of woman who will try new things and who wants to give her family as much as she can. So, in the beginning, I did it for them. We had a new baby and a new house to accommodate our growing family so there was often more month than money.

I got my kit and began watching the DVD showing example parties right away. I studied the cue cards included in the kit and the sexual health information every day. Then I did my first party for my girlfriends at my house - who else better to laugh with when I couldn’t remember which product was licked and which you did NOT taste! They’d forgive me :) We had a great time and I made my first profit that night. I was hooked. Once I started the party, it was just so much more comfortable than I thought it would be. I simply used the cue cards to explain the products. I did that for a long time until I got comfortable doing the demo without them.

But the money is not why I love Pure Romance. I didn’t realize when I started how much it would change my life and how much we can help the women we come in contact with. I’ve gained friendships, self-confidence, pride in owning my own successful business and I’m privileged to have women share their most intimate questions with me.

I’ve had many women, sometimes much older and sometimes much younger than me, tell me how they learned things about themselves and their intimate relationships they’d never known before. Often they talk about how comfortable it was being there with the other women and watching the demo, not at all what they expected. Then I get more intimate stories - personal stories that make my heart go out to these women.

I had a customer come to me once in the private ordering room wanting to know what she could do to help her feel close to her husband again. She had been on a cruise, a vacation where her and her husband were going to renew their wedding vows, when she learned of his infidelity and child from that relationship. She was disparately trying to work things out with this man, but couldn’t get the desire back for him that they both wished for. Obviously this is something they needed to talk to a professional about as well, but I was able to offer some suggestions to help them begin to work on their relationship. Another woman was new to parties and our products but was excited to try the couple she had chosen for her and her husband. She told me the next day that one of them didn’t work as they’d expected (common because it sometimes takes a little experimenting to find the right amounts of things that work for each individual - but the trying is part of the fun :)) but they’d had the most fun they’d had in a long time. They had talked and laughed and really enjoyed each other in a new way. Another woman came to me with the concern that she was unable to physically feel things the way she used to before she’d had treatments for cancer. She was a survivor who had never been comfortable addressing the sexual issues that she was experiencing with her doctor. This is common and the reason we have the Sensuality, Sexuality and Survival Program. We carry a line of products that are meant to help women get that part of their lives back but are made with their special needs in mind.

I could talk a long time about experiences I’ve had since becoming a Consultant as could any of the other Consultants. Just like most of us got into Pure Romance for the money, to get time with other women, to get out of the house, or because they loved the products, all of us found much more waiting for us at our parties. We are honored with being trusted with women’s most intimate questions and helping strengthen or rebuild relationships with themselves and their partners.

Is your relationship sex starved?

I read this heading yesterday and thought, “Nah….we have sex ‘x’ amount of times a week, we’re doing fine!” But as I began to read through the article, it made me wonder if my husband felt the same way? Was he getting as much as he wanted?

I can pinpoint at what points in our 9 year relationship our sex lives were in a slump. (Yes, even Pure Romance girls have slumps!) Those were the times when we fought the most, were more dissatisfied with our lives and were just generally more irritable. I kind of knew that this seemed to get better after we’d had sex, but really didn’t put enough importance on the connection. My husband and I have been through a LOT in our time together. Loss of a job, unexpected death of both of my parents days apart for unrelated causes, a new baby, a big move to another part of the country where we knew no one and didn’t have jobs waiting for us and so much more. Then there are the everyday little things - kids, jobs, bills, Kung Fu, birthday parties, etc., etc., etc. We hear all the time that we need to make exercise a priority, but what about sex? What would you think if someone said to you, “You need to have sex at least 4 days-a-week to be healthy.” Now that’s just a random number because, just like the article said, if two people are both happy with ABC sex (anniversary, birthday and Christmas), than that is fine for them. As long as they are in agreement - that works for them. But often that’s not the case.

Michele Weiner-Davis says:

“Sex is an extremely important part of marriage. When it’s good, it offers couples opportunities to give and receive physical pleasure, to connect emotionally and spiritually. It builds closeness, intimacy and a sense of partnership. It defines their relationship as different from all others. In short, sex is a powerful tie that binds.”

“Sex experts estimate that one out of every three couples struggles with mismatched sexual desire; one spouse is hot when the other is not. Because of advancements in medical and psychological libido-boosting alternatives available to those whose desire has waned, bridging the desire gap should, in theory, be a simple endeavor. Unfortunately, it’s anything but. That’s because millions of people with low desire are simply not concerned about or troubled by their lack of interest in sex. Nor are they particularly motivated to do much about it. Just ask their spouses!”

“Being complacent about ho-hum sex is a formula for marital disaster. When one spouse is sexually dissatisfied and the other is oblivious, unconcerned or uncaring, sex isn’t the only casualty; intimacy on every level becomes non-existent. Spouses stop touching affectionately, having meaningful talks, laughing at each other’s jokes, or connecting emotionally. They become like two ships passing in the night. Infidelity and divorce become all too real threats.”

So what do we do? It. That’s what we do. Most people feel like they need the feelings to be there - the desire and arousal - before they can have sex. But there are people that need the physical contact FIRST before they can have that desire. Catch 22 right? That’s why that even though it may take the ’spontaneity’ out of it, planned intimacy can be helpful. It’s better than no intimacy right? Often after you begin touching, kissing, laughing and just relax and pay attention to one another, those feelings will come back. I know that my husband has tried to give me a kiss before as I was running around like crazy trying to cook dinner, make phone calls, take care of something the 3 year old wanted and probably nine other things and I’ve given him a quick peck as I ran…or rather tried to run…by. He will grab me and make me pause and pay attention for just a minute, less than a minute, and that can mean a lot. We all need to slow down just a little and pay attention to ourselves and our partners.

Read the full article - better yet, buy the book. Consider it preemptive measures.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/sex_quiz.htm

Then take the Great American Sex Challenge:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/sex_challenge.htm

Dare ya ;-)

Pure Romance Consultant Kit Sale for April!

April Pure Romance Consultant Kit Sale!

(click it if you can't see the whole flyer)

Most of us will pay a few bills, maybe do some things to the house and BLOW a significant amount of our tax return. When it's gone, it's gone.

What if you were to invest just a small amount of that into owning your own business so you can have extra money all year, rather than just once-a-year?! Pure Romance gives women the opportunity to do just that. What could you do with an extra $500/month? I've even made that in just one party! And seriously, how can you call it work?! I'm hanging out with a fun group of girls, playing games, showing our products through fun demonstrations and taking orders!

Consultants make on average $100-500 for doing a Pure Romance party the very night of the party! See my website to see an example of what Consultants are making. You can do one party a month or ten, you schedule them for when you want to work. We will help you all the way! Shadow our parties, come to our quarterly and yearly trainings, every Monday there is a training conference call, email boards where we share our ideas, and more!

What's stopping you?

Pam

http://www.pureromancebypam.com/