Good Girls DO Initiate!

So I'm reading this article from Redbook on the 10 Things Your Man Really Wants in Bed (http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/your-man-wants-in-bed). I don't know why I always read these things, but I do. I just always want to know more. I think at this point between all the articles I've read and the sexual health training through Pure Romance, there's not much of anything that I haven't heard of before. Well, I take that back, I've seen some things on the internet that frankly I didn't want to see. But those were WAY out there - even for me and I'm about as open-minded as one can get. Aside from that though, I always want to see if there's another nugget of info I can find to not only help my customers, but my own marriage as well.

So the first item is "Initiate Sex More." *sigh* That is one of my husband's biggest complaints - when the mood hits, I do the usual flirty girl things and if he doesn't pick up on the signals I just think, "Eh, oh well, never mind," and go about my business. It doesn't help that our arousal clocks seem to be set at different times, either, but of course he is more than willing to adjust to whatever time I'm willing! ("Wake me up for God's sake woman!") LOL!

Obviously this is an area I could use some help on. I get a lot of, "I bet you have sex AAALLL the time!" at my parties. Puhleez. Sure, I've got all the paraphernalia in the world at my disposal (you can visit pureromancebypam.net to get some..haha!), and believe you me that variety is NOT a problem for us, however I am also a mom who works two jobs and goes to school. I'm TIRED! Often sleep sounds more like a hot date than having sex, no matter how great it is! And here is the other thing, believe it or not, I am a little shy about initiating sex. I know, I know...but like most women, I have physical insecurities and it's kind of like when you need to get your driver's license picture and you put it off and put it off because you're waiting for a good hair day? (*crickets*) Okay, maybe it's just me. I know it doesn't make sense because he could care less if I'm feeling 'puffy', my hair is flat or anything else if I'm offering him some lovin'!

There's also the fact that women are traditionally not the ones who are initiating things. We grow up being told that 'good girls' don't pursue sex while men grow up trying to perfect their technique to get in our pants. So then we get into a serious relationship or get married and 'WHAM', suddenly we're supposed to turn into these wild vixens. Let me tell ya, I feel like a deer in the headlights sometimes - what do I do?! So I do what we women ARE brought up doing - I flirt. I give him looks (which he interprets as take out the trash or some such at this point), I unbutton my blouse a little ("Hey honey, Maia must've unbuttoned your shirt when you were holding her - you might want to fix that,") or cuddle up closer ("Sweetie, are you cold?") We spend too much time rebuffing their advances that they are confused at this point! My husband's theory is that the only thing lingerie is truly good for is a definite signal that they have the go ahead.

If you need help, like I do, here are some other ideas on how to initiate sex with your significant other. Some are a little more vague than others - my advice is to really go for it and do the more obvious tricks! See, you don't need to break out the whips and chains to blow his mind - just let him know you want him to blow yours! ;-)

http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/say-yes-ll?click=smart&kw=ist&src=smart&mag=RBK&link=http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/say-yes-ll-SMT-RBK